What beauty is to Stephanie Sol..

Beauty

is a positive attitude,

an uplifting emotion and

a life changing experience.

-Stephisticated-

“It is not easy to be a beauty queen.”

“Beauty pageants are contests exclusively for tall, pretty, sexy and confident girls who care too much about what other people might say. Hence, they always try to act with poise and grace, look good, and speak with substance.” - This was my pathetic stereotype of a beauty pageant. I always thought that winning the crown of beauty meant that I could never be myself since I had to act perfectly at all times. I thought it was only about impressing the crowd and being popular. However, after I had decided to join Miss Teen Philippines 2004 (MTP) all my negative thoughts on beauty pageants changed.

Miss Teen Philippines proved my stereotypes on pageants wrong. It made me realize that without the sincere passion to inspire people by making a difference, it would be a burden to handle the pressure of people’s expectations of beauty queens. It also helped me discover that pageants are not just about physical beauty and confidence, but also about being sensitive towards people and things around me. This discovery inspired me to promote advocacies such as education, tourism, environment and youth-related issues. This inspiration helped me achieve my dream of becoming an effective role model.

The activities of Miss Teen Philippines improved my personality and communication skills, while having fun. These activities gave me numerous opportunities to talk about my thoughts on different topics that affect the youth, such as the importance of character and values. Sharing my time with others made me appreciate the beauty of camaraderie and service. I discovered that beauty pageants are indeed prestigious, advantageous and productive.

Winning the crown of Miss Teen Philippines served as a learning experience that enabled me to strive for perfection. It made me realize that my outlook on things is important for it could either make or break me. This is the uniqueness of Miss Teen Philippines. –It makes young ladies blossom into beautiful women; inspire teen girls to influence people by setting themselves as role models and strive to bring out the best out of the young generation. Most importantly, it made me define beauty as a positive attitude, an uplifting emotion and a life changing experience.

Theologically Inspired

Humans are angels with intense attraction to evil.

Devils are angels with immeasurable lust for pride.

- Stephisticated-

** I wrote this one day during my Theology 101 class..

“Nursing Students To Progress”

National Service Training Program or NSTP has achieved its objective in me. NSTP helped me acquire the good citizenship values, the basic concepts of civic consciousness and social responsibility. I have learned about these concepts by applying it into a community based field work.

I, together with my group mates were assigned to do the field work at Rizal High School in Pasig City. We were assigned to teach the English subject to the eighteenth section of Rizal’s sophomores. Wanting to give the students a holistic English syllabus, we thought of teaching them the art of English rhetoric. We wanted them to effectively speak and write in English.

Our first week with the students was a “getting to know” meeting because we believe that for one to gain the maximum knowledge and skills, one must be comfortable with the teacher of that certain subject. During the same time, we introduced to them the “Speak and Write English Policy” since we believe that one must experience to learn. The second and third weeks had been allocated for us to refresh students of the definition and uses of nouns and pronouns. The fourth week was allotted to reading comprehension, vocabulary and pronunciation. At this time, we wanted to see the students’ skills in reading and in speech so that we know which parts we need to focus. The fifth and sixth week were allocated to refresh students of the definition and uses of verbs, adverbs and adjective. The last two weeks was allotted to test students’ progress by applying what they have learned. The last weeks tackled about the basic sentence patterns and paragraph writing.

Our group believes that we were able to achieve our objectives of teaching students English because the summary of the tutorials’ evaluation showed that most of the students improved their English skills. Thirty-two percent (32%) of the students improved their reading; seventeen percent (17%) improved their writing. Forty-seven percent (47%) of the students improved their grammar; thirty-four percent (34%) improved their pronunciation; thirty-six percent improved (36%) their vocabulary and thirty-eight percent (38%) improved their spelling. Also, the results on the distributed activity sheets showed that the students understood all the topics discussed. However, some of them should be encouraged to answer because they tend to be lazy.

I truly enjoyed my NSTP experience for it made me realize useful things in life. It made me a better person by making me participate in activities for social development. It gave me a clearer view of my role in nation building because it made me see the real scenario of our country’s challenges. It too gave me awareness on effective techniques for teaching. For instance, I noticed that oral recitations in the form of a game review increased the students’ participation and learning. Simply, the NSTP made me more humane. It taught me lessons that can not be learned in books. It taught me the value of patience. It made me practice Christian charity.

I enjoyed my NSTP experience; however there is always room for improvement. I suggest that the Center for Social Responsibility should hold workshops/seminars before the start of the students’ field work. This will enable the NSTP-LTS students to acquire the proper knowledge and skills for teaching. It will too exercise their creativity in making effective teaching techniques. Thus, the UA&P-NSTP students will be able to impart more to their NSTP students. The UA&P-NSTP students will touch more minds and lives.

Now, that NSTP has helped me become a better friend, student, teacher, sister, and citizen. I do not only define NSTP as a National Service Training Program, but also an act of “Nursing Students To Progress”

If you love me, read this..

Your honesty is my sanity.

Spare me from brutality.

If you love me, love me eternally.

♥stephisticated♥

This is for the heart broken...

Nov 19, '06 5:12 AM

Heartbreaks… one of the most painful life experience. Going trough it seems to be going under the hole of the needle, or walking on all the broken glasses; actually, it is more than that. During heartbreaks, it is not only your heart that is crashed and stepped on; your sanity is also grounded and pounded. It is like you are a living dead. It gives so much negative vibes that I can even enumerate some from A to Z.

Angry – who would not be angry if all your efforts are put into waste?

Bitter – can any normal person say that heartbreaks are sweet?

Crazy – "heartbrokenness" tends to confuse you that you’d probably end up crazy.

Dreadful – it’s obvious! Heartbreaks are extraordinarily bad.

Exhausted – of course! Can you name anyone who does not get tired of pain?

Freaked out – life is freaky especially when you feel alone.

Guilty – that’s if you held the reason for the pain. It leads into regret.

Hate – isn’t it a negative feeling?

Idle – you don’t even want to move.

Jeopardized- yes, it puts you in danger.

Knocked out – it’s like you lost the ultimate battle with power kicks and punches.

Lonely – duh! Loneliness will surely fill you up.

Meaningless – if you considered your “lover” as your life.

Nostalgic – I’m sure you miss the entire caress.

Oppressed – won’t you feel abused by the “authority”?

Pissed – especially if someone stole your “lover”

Quarantined – yeah, you don’t want anyone else to be around you

Rueful – you’re low in spirits.

Sorrowful – deep distress and sadness

Tarnished – life becomes dull and discolored.

Useless – I always hear this.

Vexed - will trouble come? Or did you make the trouble?

Weak – you lost strength, didn’t you?

Xeric – metaphorically, you are dry or dehydrated.

Yearning –you know you truly, madly, deeply wanted it to work.

Zany – Uhuh! You are silly and foolish. It is a fact.

Oh my gracious! Heart breaks are harder than diamonds.

But, you must remember,

GOD IS WITH YOU ALWAYS AND HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ASTRAY… THE ONE WHO BROKE YOUR HEART MAY NOT LOVE YOU ANYMORE, BUT WITH GOD, HIS LOVE IS MORE THAN UNCONDITIONAL, MORE THAN ETERNAL. HAVE FAITH IN HIM. TRUST IN HIM. PRAY, THEN YOUR WORRIES AND PAINS WILL GO AWAY.

** gheeze! I sounded so silly. Well, I was heart broken then. I'm just blessed that I have God with me, forever by my side. Just reposting the scribbles I had in multiply.

I wonder

Inside my self I wonder,

What is it, what will I be?

My teachers, friends and parents say

For now, I should be me.

Sometimes I am an artist

Sometimes a movie star

And sometimes a painter

who paints flowers and craters

Sometimes I am a missionary, helping the ordinary.

When I attend weddings, I wonder if I’ll marry.

Inside myself I wonder, what is it I will be?

Sometimes I have grown to learn that God has answered me.

I will accept my destiny.

*stephisticated*

**I wrote this poem way back when I was 12 years old. Ahh.. the memories..

What's yet to come my way?

Oct 11, '06 5:59 AM *My First Blog Post On Multiply*

Now I shall turn a page in my life that will lead me to a new chapter- my tomorrow. Now, I ask myself, “Is it true that the path I’ve taken helped me to become stronger and more ready for tomorrow?” I do not really know. I am not sure of this tomorrow. I don’t know how it will be like. It is frightening to think that now it calls to me.

Closing my eyes, I imagine myself walking into a new path. A path I am not sure I want to walk in. But in reality, no matter what is in front of me I am opening my eyes to see my tomorrow. I would have the courage to walk with my eyes wide open for I know that my past has prepared me. I know that all the tears I’ve shed, the pain I’ve received and the sufferings I endured molded me to be ready for the future. Most importantly, I know that God will guide me. With all these, what is there for me to fear? Nothing. Not even my own death.

Now watch me stephisticatedly conquer what is in stored for me. Help me wonder about my fate, but let me handle the pain, tears and challenges that has yet to come my way.

… Sitting in a place of silence and darkness, I can feel two teardrops dripping on my cheek. One is happy and the other is sad. One is sad for I have to let go of my past. Sad for only memories are left with me; sad for I can only learn from it. Yet happy for with my past I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’ve grew from my experiences… I’ve become who I am because of my past… Ah, I loathe this feeling, yet it is forever mine. Yet it is forever to be treasured..

Insecurities

People say (usually applies to models) the prettier you are the more insecure you get. I don't really know if the stereotype is true but I'm sure it does not apply to me. Yes, mortal as I am, I have insecurities. A lot actually if only I think about them often. For instance, I am insecure about by physical appearance. I'm short. I have big arms and bulgy short legs. I have allergy marks on my back. I have scars as big as a 10 centavo coin on my knees and calves. I have split ends. (I miss my uber shiny hair. I don't get to have time to treat my hair anymore e.) I have such manly hands and fingers. I have feet that could be liken to that of a duck's. I get pimples. I have a scar on my face due to a dog bite. I have bulging "bilbil" when I sit. I have a huge, sun-designed navel. (Oh yes, I counted the "rays" and i have eight. another weird thing about me.) I have bad eyesight (200 on the left and 220 on the right with 25 astigmatism). I have short and thin eye lashes. and the list goes on an on...

Crap! It's hard thinking about the things you have but don't really like. But you know, with all honesty, I don't care much if i don't posses the "perfect physical features". I just thought of mentioning them to point out that it's us who makes that insecure feeling come alive. Wanting to be better is normal, and in itself is actually good. The danger appears when you go beyond the boarders. Unnecessary pressure and stress fills you up. Crazy. You die for better looks but don't you see by ranting too much, or even just thinking to much about it can make you the opposite. To illustrate, you stay up all night looking for the diet or exercise that would help you achieve that oh-to-die-for body and looks. Yet sweetie, don't you realize your sacrificing your beautiful eyes just to get that diet plan or exercise program. Chige nga, maganda na yung katawan mo, pero pano pagdating sa face abot sa cheeks na eye bugs mo? Diba? haha. I know it sounds exaggerated but you get what I mean. Some people focus on worrying on things too much that they don't realize what they are actually doing, in one way or another, contradicts their goal.

I enrolled in a gym last thursday, April 17. (I actually just wanted dance class as my summer extra-curricular activity but my partner in crime persuaded me to go to the gym. so i did. ) The goal I had in mind was to lose weight, burn off at least 8% of fat and have sexy abs. pero asa pa. Just this tuesday I felt too lazy to go to the gym na. Today, I thought about the reasons why I set my goals in that manner. Self-fulfillment? haha. Ano yan, ego booster? Ewan. I realized the reason why I go to the gym isn't right that's why I am not to motivated to finish off my work outs. Come to think of it, i'd go to the gym so that i can be sexier. So that i'd have smaller legs and arms. Nice abs and all. So i can deliver better photographs?? Crap. I feel so shallow. I'm not going to the gym just because of that. I'm going to the gym not just to lose weight but also to be fit. I wanna give my workouts a deeper meaning. I wanna be fit not because I wanna run around the beach in bikini but because I wanna be able to have the stamina to climb the beautiful high mountains. I wanna get used to using the muscles i need to scuba dive so I can see the amazing corals down under. I go to the gym to gain more muscles which, by helping me produce heat, can protect me from the breeze of the cold wind when I'm on top of the hilltop. I go to the gym to increase my strength in carrying objects so I can do more things the next time I visit Gawad Kalinga. so I can stand long hours of carrying in my arms my cute pamagkins. I go to the gym and take their dance classes not just to sweat out but to be more flexible and graceful so I can deliver a better dance number for my family and friends the next time we have a reunion. I go to the gym to meet more people who might probably teach me important lessons in my life. to meet people whose life i can probably touch. and the list goes on an on like the water flowing from the stream, to the lake, to the river, to the sea and to the ocean and back to the stream haha... (Pinilit yung poetic lines sana e haha.)

I know each one of us wants to become better, in any aspect of our life. All of us have insecurities. All of us want to change for the better because man is inherently good, roight? Right. This is why I believe in looking at things in an optimistic point of view. Don't let insecurities pull you down or make you feel bad about yourself. Turn them around and use them as a challenge in your journey for the better you. The next time you think of, say, wanting abs.. Don't think about wanting it because you wanna get more compliments like others do. Think about it in a deeper sense. Say, "I wanna have abs so that every-time a little kid in the orphanage punches my tummy it won't hurt much. I can tell him pa to use it as a punching bag for fun. So we can have bonding moments pa." Isn't it more inspiring and uplifting?

Remember, insecurities will forever exist in this world and what makes the difference is looking at the positive side of its coin. Use them to uplift you. Don't feel sad because you are kulang sa height, instead be happy because that height allows you to hold you baby sister or brother's hand just right while walking. If you can't change how things look on you, change how you look at things and enjoy life better.

*Thank God Dr. Lazaro gave us a day rest of making daily paper reports for environmental science. Unlike Yesterday, the guilt i feel while blogging is not much. haha mas mahaba pa yung blog ko kaysa sa paper ko*